February 2010
12 posts
“But I thought you were a ‘FREElancer’ !”
– (via clientsfromhell)
clientsfromhell:
Client: “We’re trying to watch the DVD with the advert on but we can’t hear it. We’re really not happy. You need to bring a new DVD over asap.”
Me: “What are you playing the DVD on?”
Client: “My receptionist’s computer.”
Me: “Does it have speakers?”
Client: “No, will you send some over?”
Me: “No.”
miranda-elspeth:
WHY DO I ALWAYS SAY SUCH AWKWARD THINGS!.
NGDKJSLNFSKJ
I need to keep my dreams in my head and not TELL THEM TO PEOPLE AND FREAK THEM OUT. its pretty obvious that I just took it too far. what the HELL MIRANDA
I love hearing your dreams! Especially when I’m “he who shall not be named”. LOL LOL
clientsfromhell:
Client: “I want the site to be metallic and cool, like ‘blow your head off’ cool, like the Transformers”
Me: “This is for a wedding photography business, right?”
Client: “So? Optimus Prime can’t shoot a fucking picture?”
“Can you make our website track their webcams? I want to make sure that anybody...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
clientsfromhell:
Client: “We want a no-right-click script so people, by which we mean paedophiles, can’t save pictures from our custom gallery of kids.”
Me: “But the gallery has an ‘email me this picture’ form.”
Client : “That’s for parents.”
“Can you make this jingle sound more brown?”
– (via clientsfromhell)
January 2010
22 posts
“Hi could you please fix my website so that people in Canada can’t see it? It...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Those hands look like lesbian hands.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
OMG! I CANNOT stop laughing!!
She was apologising. Kind of.
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“I’m sorry. Well, I’m not sorry. I’m sorry you’re a moron.”
clientsfromhell:
A client once gave me some text which included a spelling error. Instead of saying “you spelled that wrong” I tried to be tactful about it. I said I wasn’t sure about the spelling so I looked it up in the dictionary and discovered that it was spelled differently. Then the client insisted that there was a typo in the dictionary and we had to go to press with the spelling...
miranda-elspeth:
I have “liked” 666 posts.
heh
Welcome to the family that’s going to hell…lol
miranda-elspeth:
I’m really tired of waking up to nudes on my dashboard.
LMAO!
“The phrase ‘the sky’s the limit’. It sounds a little limiting. How about ‘the...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Most of our photos are all white people, but we need to show more diversity, and...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
LOL This TOTALLY made me think of Chris and JM!!
clientsfromhell:
Client: “I want a website that can make me a lot of money. Can you do that?”
Me: “Sure, what do you have in mind”
Client: “… one that can make me a lot of money…?”
“I need to get moving, anyway you can do some work on this on your vacation....”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Here is some hair I cut off of my poodle. Make my fabric match my poodle.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
December 2009
90 posts
textsfromlastnight:
(317): I got her a Nickelback box set.
“I can’t access the internet from this computer, I haven’t downloaded google yet.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
textsfromlastnight:
(505): i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you’ve gotten fat.
textsfromlastnight:
(306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say “child shows some signs of mental retardation”.
textsfromlastnight:
(805): Every time I type “should” my phone autocorrects to “shouldn’t”. even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
elspeth26:
textsfromlastnight:
(519): I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
textsfromlastnight:
(973): we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend’s UGG boots. she’s CRYING. it’s hysterical.
textsfromlastnight:
(843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said “Feed Me Bitch.” I don’t own a hamster. I don’t know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
textsfromlastnight:
(517): just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
LMAO!
textsfromlastnight:
(713): He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
textsfromlastnight:
(601): He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I’m not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
